General update

[luzula]

1) I just returned to civilization after a week out in the woods. It was pretty great--we returned to a place in the north of Sweden where a company wants to mine for nickel, and we're helping the local resistance against the mine. Last year we did forest inventories there (looking at forest structure and fungi, lichens and mosses); this time we did botanical inventories (looking at vascular plants). We found lots of stuff and we just finished working on the press release. So it was a success! Although I'm pretty tired now and the trip home is taking forever due to train track repairs. I'm looking forward to getting home and eating pizza.

2) I have an apartment! \o/ It's from the 1st of August, which is perfect, and it has three bedrooms and a living room (and a kitchen, obviously). I haven't seen it myself, since I've been away, but I sent a friend to take photos and also my parents went there. My parents were against it at first because it's in a poor suburb and they are worried about all the dangerous immigrants and unemployed people living there. *eyeroll* But when they went out there it seems their prejudices didn't bear out, and they liked it after all. Not that them not liking it would've stopped me. Anyway, I am happy about the apartment! It also has a huge walk-in closet/storage room where I can put a guest bed so I can host guests. \o/

3) And so now I'm hunting for two flatmates (this almost sounds like a pun to me because in Swedish "flata" = lesbian). Anyway. I put out an ad at a house-sharing site and now I have eight potential flatmates. I'm planning to meet/Skype with them in the next few days and then hopefully I will find people. Most of them seem interesting and nice, though young--I'm 36 and they're all 20-25. (Although I'm kind of judging one of them for being 23 and having David Eddings as one of her favorite authors?? I liked Eddings when I was, like, 15. Errr, possibly I'm judging her too hard.) The process of finding flatmates makes me kind of anxious. Like, will I be able to tell from first impressions who will work? *frets* Also it's hard to say no to people.

Comments

[jjhunter]

Quick flyby of go you! (re: #1), hip hip hooray what a relief (re: #2), and it's okay to be both open and critical (re:#3) — I find 'Would I want to work with or build stuff with this person?' (can they manage their own stuff, are they competent at things / willing & able to learn competence at things, etc.) as useful a criteria as 'will they be easy for me to get along with?'. Also, it's a lot easier to be critical of people if you're thinking of them in part as potential coworkers than it is as potential friends, if that makes sense.

All that being said — one of my favorite housemates to date was right out of college when she joined the co-op-that-was, and she's an excellent example of the best qualities younger people can bring to a house (energy, sense of adventure, openness, etc.) while still having packed in enough life experience previously to be smart with budgeting, relatively low drama, and thoughtful about interpersonal stuff.

(As the couple the other people in the co-op pushed for primarily on the basis of being older and solving an issue with a one-and-a-half rooms setup the landlord wanted to charge more for ended up being a disaster — we really should have screened the fiance more carefully, he was basically a serial con artist with a string of ruined lives behind him — I feel like age for age's sake is an unreliable deciding factor, and shorthand for 'life experience lived' that doesn't match as precisely as one might think.)

[luzula]

Thanks for sharing your experiences! I've met up with one person today, and she seemed like she could potentially work out well. My method was to spend an hour with her and talk about living situations we've been in and how they've worked out for us, and also about what we're doing and how we work.

And now I'm skyping with another person in ten minutes, we'll see how that goes. Hmm, I have a feeling that it's easier for me to feel out another person if I meet them face to face, but we'll see.

I definitely do not want a serial con artist! Eek.

[jesse_the_k]

Many congrats on contributing scientific info to forest preservation! I am so happy there are people with your skills in the world!

Congrats on the flat! One of the joys of being the flat convenor: you get to set the tone.

I agree with jj: after screening more than 25 people for co-op members and flatmates, "potential co-worker" is much more useful than "potential friend." To the point of asking specific questions about "work parties": What would you do if there was a fire in the kitchen and you were in charge of bringing the apartment back to usability?

Also, trust your gut feelings from when you very first meet them. They will be cohabiting with your gut as well as your "higher" rational self.

[luzula]

Thanks for the advice! I decided on one person who then said yes, so that's one. I spent about an hour talking with her and we felt compatible, so I think it was a good choice. Then I decided on another person who I only spoke with over a bad Skype connection from France, but chose on the strengths of her having six years of experience with shared houses in four countries, and a letter that was sympathetic (also my dad has had her as a student). She did not say yes immediately but wanted to reply on Wednesday, which probably means she's waiting for a reply from some other place. So then I have to decide whether to let her have that time, or to say that I need an answer now and take the chance that she'll say no. I mean, if I wait and she says no on Wednesday then some of my other candidates may also have found other places. Hmmmmm.

[jesse_the_k]

That "will she? won't she?" business, waiting for all the dominoes to fall, is a big drag. My sympathies.

Are you constrained by a particular date, such as when grad school begins or leases-run-out-on-Jul 31? Even if you don't have a specific date, someone always appears. Even if it's a week later, I think it would be fine asking a new roomie to pay for the full month (you've probably already put down a deposit that's twice as much as your share).

Best wishes!

[luzula]

My first choice for the second spot said no (she found something more central) so I took someone else. Both my new flatmates are quite young, actually (22 and 21) but I hope it will work out--they have both lived in shared households for a couple of years and seem like responsible and sympathetic people. I hope it works out!

[riverlight]

Yay social action! Yay apartment! This is delightful.

(I didn't know the word flata. How'd that come about? Good to know, should I ever need to describe myself to someone. How do you say bisexual? *g*)

Good luck with the flatmate search. Ugh, that's rough. (Though, for what it's worth, I met one of my best friends that way, once upon a time.)

[luzula]

Bisexual is just "bisexuell" or "bi". The word "flata" is a bit more slangy than "lesbisk". Kind of like "dyke", I guess?

The two flatmates I ended up with are quite young, actually (22 and 21) but I hope it will work out--they have both lived in shared households for a couple of years and seem like responsible and sympathetic people.

[riverlight]

Oh, good to know!

And responsible and sympathetic sounds optimistic!

[seascribe.livejournal.com]

Hooray, a flat! Good luck on the flatmate hunting.

[luzula]

Thanks! ♥

[lyr]

Congrats on the apartment, and also on the successful woods trekking!

[luzula]

Thank you! I am just unpacking my stuff now, and I think it'll work out well.