Ugh

[luzula]

I think the pandemic is finally getting to me. I mean, not that I haven't chafed at it before, but I've mostly done fairly well. There have been some positive aspects for me (spending a lot of time with my mom, being at the family summer place a lot), but since coming home from my parents' place I've felt increasing amounts of mental discomfort at home.

I find myself holing up in my room, and when I have to go into the kitchen when any of my flatmates are there, I feel like I want to hold my breath, but of course I can't, and so I just feel a lot of mental discomfort while breathing, and also mental discomfort because I feel like I'm making them feel like they're plague-ridden. Mostly I wait until they're not there. It's okay if the window is wide open so the ventilation is good, but one of them dislikes drafts, so. We just have different levels of risk evaluations--I basically don't meet up with friends indoors at all, while at least one of the others wants to be able to bring home friends and does also meet up with people indoors at other places. And of course this also impacts our relationships as flatmates. /o\ I felt so much more relaxed when I lived with my parents, because they were more careful.

In the last week, my area got 345 new confirmed cases per 100,000 people. It's down by half from the peak of the second wave, but now the number of new cases is increasing again, by 13% in the last week. Augh, Sweden. /o\ /o\ And vaccination is going slow, not because of lack of capacity, but because of lack of vaccines. Only 8% have been vaccinated with at least one dose, and 4% with both doses.

I feel best when I'm outside, so I guess the fact that spring is coming is an upside. Funny, I've seen other people saying that they feel unsafe outside? Maybe this is because it's easy for me to get out in the woods where there are no other people?

Comments

[regshoe]

*hugs*

I can sympathise about the flatmates—one of my housemates is (unavoidably, for work) coming into contact with people every day, and of course he's taking precautions but I do worry. Disagreement over risk tolerance with people you can't help sharing risk with is such a stressful thing.

You're certainly lucky to have those woods (from what I hear most people round here are fine outside—I'm just very anxious), and I hope things do improve with the advance of spring!

[luzula]

Thanks! Actual hugs are another thing I miss.

I talked to mom, and she said I was welcome to come live with them again, so it's good to know that's an option, if I want to. But I'm too tired to think it over properly now.

It's funny, we have an interview process to make sure we're as compatible as possible with new flatmates: we ask them about their preferred level when it comes to cleaning, make sure they're comfortable with dogs, that they don't want to be up and make lots of noise at night, roughly what their political opinions are, etc. We just never figured we'd need to know what everyone's risk tolerance during a pandemic was...

[mergatrude]

*hugs*

I guess people feel unsafe outside in urban areas because they can't control the environment. I'm glad that you have the opportunity to get outside in the woods because I think nature helps keep us sane. I hope you can stay as safe as possible.

*more hugs*

[luzula]

Hugs and more hugs sounds good. *hugs back*

Yeah, I guess if you're on crowded streets, that's not much fun.

[jesse_the_k]

Sorry to hear about the discordant risk profiles among your housemates.

I just got back from a trip to the library -- 60°!F/16°C. Sunlight! Rain tomorrow and the next day to wash away all the grotty snow. I totally understand why outdoors feels safer.

[luzula]

Thank you.

And that's much warmer than we have! We've had frost every night for a while now...

[ride_4ever]

Huh, that's the same weather pattern where I am -- we're probably in the same part of the country (and as an additional coincidence, I too was at the library today).

[china_shop]

Ugh, that sounds so stressful! :-(

*much hugs*

[luzula]

It is! And the social aspects of how to handle it, ugh.

*hugs back*

[nnozomi]

Living with flatmates can be so hard even in the best of times, which this is not. I hope spring is good to you, and soon.

[luzula]

I usually like living with flatmates! But "how much risk to take during a pandemic" is just not something we asked about each other when we moved in together, so it's a whole new stress test for everyone.

Thanks!

[brigantine]

Ugh, that does sound stressful! I'm glad you have the options of going to stay with your parents, and the escape - even if temporary - of the woods.

Our local government is getting more forceful with people who insist on having indoor, or close outdoor (too many people, small yard) gatherings, and with businesses that don't follow basic safety protocols. Mostly this involves repeat offenders. They've tried first making sure people are informed, and then warnings, etc. Some people just don't want to listen. Others are very careful. My mother and my friends are all in the Very Careful camp.

It's pretty lonesome not going into our library offices to work, though, especially after a year. Gosh, a whole year has gone! :O

The state of California is trying hard to get as many people vaccinated as quickly as they can, but we have the same problem you do over there - not always enough vaccines to go around. Me, I'm content to wait for a bit. Normally I am very much in favor of vaccines, but this one is so new, and not - as far as I know - very well tested, so I'm a little bit hesitant. I want to do my part to help, though, so when my turn comes I'll most likely do it.

I hope you can find a way to feel less anxious. When the people you live with are sometimes careless, that's a difficult situation. /o\

[luzula]

Thank you. Sweden is much less lax about these things, and it stresses me out.

And yeah, I can't believe a whole year has gone by...

[baronjanus]

I feel that, I really do. My partner is high risk and we are extremely careful, but our families and some friends (not all) are just, out and about, birthday parties, close up fun with everyone, and the idea of letting any of these walking petri dishes into my house would give me such anxiety.

It would be amazing to have outdoors empty of people, but yeah, for me outdoors is full of maskless idiots walking far too close.

Re flatmates in the kitchen, would it be possible to wear a mask in the house outside your room? wash hands after using shared facilities? The shower would still be an issue...

#venting also, maybe a bit uninvited and I apologise! :) but I guess I'm brimming with rage ;)

[luzula]

Yeah, I am so lucky to have access to an outdoors empty of people. I'm sorry you don't!

No problem with the venting. I am actually considering moving back to my parents' place, mom said she would be happy to have me. But I'll think about it, and will have to communicate more with flatmates.

[baronjanus]

It's great that you have a safer location option, it really is. If it comes to that - inviting friends over to a shared apartment, how inconsiderate, not to mention downright stupid.

[hurry_sundown]

Roommates, ugh. Child is going through the same thing with hers. I'll tell you what I told her: do what you need to do, and eff them. Open a window and tell the one who doesn't like drafts to 1) put a sweater on and 2) suck it (not necessarily in that order).

Also, if you don't have a stuffed animal, I recommend getting one. Child gave me a stuffed llama (llamas are a thing for us), and I've been, um, sleeping with it. Don't laugh - it actually helps with anxiety.

*hugs you virtually because I'm also careful about germs*

[luzula]

Open a window and tell the one who doesn't like drafts to 1) put a sweater on and 2) suck it (not necessarily in that order).

I think I care too much about the social repercussions to do that! But Mom invited me back home, so I might do that, actually. At least I'll think about it.

I do have a very nice hug-friendly stuffed wombat--maybe I'll try sleeping with it. Thanks for the tip!

[chestnut_pod]

Flatmates can be stressful at the best of times -- much sympathy!

[luzula]

Thank you!

[seascribble]

Sweden, pls. *hugs*

[luzula]

Sweden should just shape up.

*hugs back*

[glitteryv]

Ooof, that's a tough thing to deal with. I've gone thru a handful (less than 5) moments when I'm super over the Pandemic and/or have had minor anxiety attacks cuz more than 2 ppl are on an elevator, etc.

Risk assessments are always a pain in the butt unless the majority agrees on a decision. I was infinitely grateful during the 7-month period my mom was at my place that we took precautions v. seriously.

Re vaccines: at this point, I don't think any will be open for my age group until late April at the earliest? Tho there's been a massive demand for them (despite the anti-vaxxer bs.) It's all abt waiting until my turn, I guess.

I never feel unsafe outside. Tho, ftr, I don't venture out outside of a 2-4 mile radius from where I live AND I tend to go outside really early when there aren't too many ppl around.

Sending you lots of hugs and strength. May things turn around soon. <3

[luzula]

Thanks for the sympathy! I'll definitely take virtual hugs since physical ones are unavailable... <3

[hyarrowen]

There's nothing much I can say or do - you've obviously thought this over quite thoroughly - but sending you virtual hugs anyway.

[luzula]

Thank you! Sympathy and virtual hugs much appreciated.

[ride_4ever]

hyarrowen, I cannot resist telling you that your icon is delightful.

[hyarrowen]

Thank-you so much! So is yours :D

I'm pretty proud that I didn't steal the sign itself. No-one was around. It would have been so difficult to explain, though.

[ride_4ever]

Tempting indeed to take that sign. I've had that desire on a number of occasions where I've seen signs containing references to "shipping".

[hyarrowen]

I hadn't even thought of that! Yes, verytempting.

[ride_4ever]

Here's one I <3 but physically couldn't steal even if I wanted to do so. My primary and forever fandom is due South and the related Canadian Six Degrees fandom. The production company behind due South and many of my other Canadian favorites is Alliance. There's a Canadian freight train that goes past my work-place here in the Midwestern U.S. and some of the cars say "Alliance Shipping". Train car, too big to steal. *g*

[hyarrowen]

Oh, what a shame! If only you could get hold of a car and convert it into a snug home. Maybe if you looked on ebay...? :D

[ride_4ever]

On eBay! Heh, there's an idea!

[ride_4ever]

Yeah, how could anyone have known to ask potential flatmates how risk-averse they would or wouldn't be in a pandemic?

*hugs*

[luzula]

Yes, it's a whole new stress-test for relationships of all kinds!

*hugs back*