Two weird conversations

[luzula]

M, from another environmental organization, calls me on the phone: "I've been trying to reach L. I'm really frustrated by how she's been going about this collaborative process. And J, who has worked with these issues a long time, is feeling really sidelined, and like L is steamrolling her. Can you tell L to call me? But don't tell anyone what I said about J!"

Whereupon I call L, who is in my environmental organization: "I can't see what she thinks is unclear about this process! These things that she complained about, I have have emailed her about them. And I'm working closely with J, and honestly, she thinks M is acting weird! But of course I'm not going to tell M so. I'll call her."

What is going on here?? And I can't really confront them with the discrepancy in their view of J, because they were both saying those things in confidence! *throws up hands*

Well, I hope they can work it out...

Comments

[lyr]

If it were me, I'd ring up J. I wouldn't say anything about what either M or L told me, but I'd delicately feel out the landscape, say I was just checking in to make sure everyone was clear on the process and included in the conversation. Just chat, you know, and see if there's anything that needs to be smoothed over or nipped in the bud.

[luzula]

If I knew J, I would probably do this. But the thing is, I don't know her at all...so probably not. But thanks for the thought!

[nnozomi]

Oh dear why are people like this, what a classic conflict *sigh*. Hopefully L and M can work it out themselves without troubling you too much... . (I have to say I am curious to hear what J's view on the whole thing would be, though.)

[luzula]

I too am curious about what J actually thinks, but I don't know her at all. But anyway I got a text message from M saying they had talked it out, though I doubt they've explicitly discussed J...

[jesse_the_k]

I'm with your other, wiser, respondents.

Have an open-ended convo with J and see what falls out.

[luzula]

If I knew J, I would probably do this. But the thing is, I don't know her at all...so probably not. Anyway I got a text message from M saying they had talked it out, so I think I'll keep out of it for now.

[hyarrowen]

People. *sighs* Any particular reason why they're not talking with each other like adults would?

[luzula]

Who knows? *throws up hands*

ETA: Although, to be fair, M was trying to reach L in the first place and only called me because she couldn't get hold of her...

[regshoe]

Oh dear! I agree that talking to J yourself might be an idea... but if it was me I'd probably just leave them all to sort it out however they're going to themselves.

[luzula]

Yes, that probably is what I'll do! I don't know J at all, so approaching her would feel strange...

Anyway I got a text message from M saying they had talked it out, so hopefully it's at least somewhat resolved.

[antisoppist]

M is in fact the one feeling sidelined because L is working closely with J? Does M usually work closely with J themselves and is feeling left out of the cosy teamwork?

[luzula]

M and J belong to the same organization, so yes, your theory could be true! But I don't know J at all, so probably I will never know her feelings about this...

[falkner]

Seeing from your other comments that you don't even know J yourself, this must be quite a awkward and weird situation, haha... hopefully they'll work it out without things getting more awkward!