Real life update

[luzula]

Right, I figure it's time for a RL update.

1) I am employed again, after my intermittent unemployment. It's not permanent, though--I have full-time university teaching through January, but after that I don't know. My courses seem kind of boring: mostly high-school level math, which I have never actually taught before. Might be a challenge, though, to explain things on a lower level than I'm used to. And then in December I have the same calculus course as I had last year.

2) I have a new roommate! The guy I liked least among the people I share an apartment with moved out, and a dear friend of mine moved in. I am delighted to be living with him. \o/

3) I am now in an open relationship, mostly because of kink mismatch. It's been going well so far (for three months or so), and I don't seem to have any problems with jealousy. It's mostly my boyfriend who's been with someone else (except, y'know, for me making out with fangirls at the spin-the-bottle party at Bitching Party). We'll see what happens.

Relatedly, why is there so little fic with V-type relationships? Almost all the fic with several characters involved in a relationship seems to be triangle-type OT3 fic. Why?

4) There was a weird exhibitionist guy masturbating in the woods that I like to walk in every evening. Arrgh. I wasn't afraid of him or anything, but I do want to be able to walk there without seeing un-asked-for masturbation. And I don't know if I should be afraid. Should I?

5) I finished Jo Walton's Among Others and, predictably, loved it. ♥ Also, I finally caved and ordered Lifelode, even though I had to get it from the US. Next book to read: Rosemary Sutcliff's The Silver Branch.

6) I'm reccing due South at crack_van this month, so check out my recs.

7) Augh, my Midsummer fic. *flails* Please remind me to write if you see me on gmail.

Comments

Thank you for shining a light on this oft-forgotten corner

[baronjanus]

*hesitantly walks into a discussion*

Okay, I wasn't sure if I should comment. Because it's someone I don't know aside from she's read a couple of my fics and liked them, and it's mostly a RL post which is personal, but it's not locked and anyway... The question was an open one... and...

I will try to stick to topic. Offering non-invasive congratulations on employment, roommates, and relationship situation; also offering advice that while you should not be afraid, you should be aware and possibly prepared, regardless of that one creep, because "the woods", or indeed the world, is just a good place to be aware of dangers, sadly :(

And:

Why less V 'ships and more OT3 in which everyone gets along: for the same reason most people 'ship to begin with. Because we don't like seeing the characters alone and sad. Because we want them happy, or happier than in canon anyway, to a degree (*yes, there are much gore and horror and angst out there in fic, but generally, we 'ship for love). While mature people can handle a V-ship perfectly well, our overly-dramatic characters with their oh so complicated lives, you want to see them in a nest of comfort. And if X has bf!A and bf!B, why not have A&B meet and get along? And everyone can live happily ever after. This is not a moral judgement for or against this, by the way. It's just an assumption/opinion on why this is a generally accepted mode in fiction. Because happily ever after.

And why do I bust into someone's personal post with these thoughts? Because I'm currently thinking of at least two 'verses wherein I'm guilty of this, and I'm wondering if the first of them would work better if I stopped trying to make everyone get along in the same way, and let each of the four people communicate with the others sexually in a way that's easier/more IC for them. And the second, well, let's see how that develops, but it would do me good to remember V as an option for happiness, an open possibility, at least. And thank you for this post, because I'm not sure I would have considered it myself; the fairy tale happy end weighs heavily on me ;)

if someone writes A and B together, and B and C together, and the author loves all three of them ... it's hard to imagine that A and C won't fall for each other, too

This. And,

hard to write without feeling like people are left out

EXACTLY this.

Thank you again.

Re: Thank you for shining a light on this oft-forgotten corner

[luzula]

*checks out your journal*

Oh hey, you're the same person who wrote those great HCL fics! And no problem--it was an unlocked post, and I would've locked it if I felt it was too private. Thanks for your good wishes.

Why less V 'ships and more OT3 in which everyone gets along: for the same reason most people 'ship to begin with.

Hmm, yeah. And I think part of this is that fandom often emphasizes romantic/sexual relationships over gen relationships in general, whether those gen relationships be familial relationships or friendships. It's like people just haven't achieved lasting and true closeness until there's sex in the mix. Which is kind of weird--many friendships last longer and can be as close as, or closer than, romantic/sexual relationships.

I figure another thing that leads people to write OT3 rather than V fic is that fandom often assumes everyone is basically bisexual. If, for example, we have A/B and B/C where A is a homosexual man, B is a bisexual man, and C is a heterosexual woman, it would be natural that there's no A/C in the equation, and that A and C could be friends instead.

So what characters/fandoms are you thinking about? Just curious.

Re: Thank you for shining a light on this oft-forgotten corner

[baronjanus]

Re friendship, I love properly written/acted friendship chemistry, but it's so hard to do. In short writing, especially. Because writing sex is easier, "they have sex and look into each other's eyes", the end. Writing friendship that lasts and is strong... you can't say "and they hung out together". You gotta write the hanging out part, and that's harder, many people feel that it would be boring (I disagree! but I'm me), it would take longer, and the chemistry is harder to, um, manufacture. And yeah, assuming everyone is open to sex and relationships is more common in fiction than RL :)

On top of that, let's face it, canon is mostly friendship/familial for men. There's rarely the romantic or sexual for them. There is a lot more for het, but even then, in too many examples I can think of, the het seems forced and lacks chemistry, and is only there because the writers thought it had to be. Fanfic allows more balance in all of the above. I think. I want to believe.

(To quote: "There’s no time for romance, we have shit to Avenge" - Scarlett Johansson when asked why there was no romantic subplot in the Avengers; and bless her for that, because that would have been wrong.)

The stuff I'm doing now is Avengersץ The other is a four-way NCIS I'm writing for my partner. The one due South I remember writing was a full threesome, too, though it didn't have the sex taking place in it. But I think maybe in due South it's even touchier than usual, the "no man left behind" sentiment. Because of all the bloody history :)

Re: Thank you for shining a light on this oft-forgotten corner

[luzula]

Oops, meant to reply earlier. Anyway: Re friendship, it's probably more rare in fic for the same reason established relationship fic is more rare than getting-together fic--the latter has a built-in source of tension, building up to the characters getting together and having sex.

On top of that, let's face it, canon is mostly friendship/familial for men.

True. Yeah, that's probably why there's so much slash in the first place.

I enjoyed the Avengers movie, and have been listening to a bit of podfic, but I don't really ship anyone, and I'm not really in the fandom. Although since Benton Fraser is my basic character type, I do feel a certain affinity for Steve Rogers.

But I think maybe in due South it's even touchier than usual, the "no man left behind" sentiment. Because of all the bloody history :)

Yeah, that's true. I got in years after the Ray wars, but there's still a bit of tension below the surface. F/K/V probably got started at least partly as a way to heal the breach.

Re: Thank you for shining a light on this oft-forgotten corner

[baronjanus]

I'm not sure it's true established is rarer than first times; I think it might strongly depend on the fandom. Of course, I never counted one by one, but that's the general feeling I got in some fandoms back in the day when I was still reading several fics every day.

The Avengers, I was having strange reactions to it. I didn't think I'd write in it at all, but then I suddenly have this one, single, epic story. Somehow. Very odd, very unlike me - I tend towards the "many snippets in a million different ways", or used to.


I think this entry is relevant to your interests: ;)
http://baronjanus.dreamwidth.org/66656.html

Re: Thank you for shining a light on this oft-forgotten corner

[luzula]

I'm not sure it's true established is rarer than first times; I think it might strongly depend on the fandom.

Yeah, all right--I was going by the corner of fandom that I know, which is of course fairly small. Huh, on the AO3 "First Time" has almost exactly the same number of uses as "Established Relationship", although that probably doesn't say much, since people tag very differently.

I think this entry is relevant to your interests: ;)

Ha, yes, I see the relevance!

Re: Thank you for shining a light on this oft-forgotten corner

[baronjanus]

Um, hello, it's me again.
May I link to this discussion on my DW? It's interesting. Also there will be maybe three people reading it there. I understand if not.

Re: Thank you for shining a light on this oft-forgotten corner

[luzula]

You can, if you like! It's a public entry, after all.

Re: Thank you for shining a light on this oft-forgotten corner

[baronjanus]

Thank you :)