I love my job right now

[luzula]

I just thought I'd say that, because it's not always true. Sometimes, I think I suck as a mathematician. I think that I'm a fraud--sure, I got my PhD and I got a post-doc after that, but really I just sort of surfed along and got help from my advisor, and I didn't do anything on my own, and really, I just sort of suck (also, I read LJ when I should be working). I hate this feeling. /o\

But right now, I feel pretty good about myself and my job, and I know the reason why. It's because I just had a good discussion with the people I'm collaborating with. Good collaboration is the answer, people. I can't shut myself in my room alone with a couple of books and come out after a month with the proof of a theorem. This is kind of the stereotype of a mathematician, but it doesn't work for me.

I need to discuss things with other people. I need feedback. And sometimes I need to remind myself that this is not a flaw.

Comments

[inathunderstorm.livejournal.com]

I'm in AWE that you are a mathematician. !!! I want to ask you A MILLION QUESTIONS, okay. Like what exactly you do for your job--you prove theorems? I'm fascinated by this, wow. Tell me all about your job omg! What kind of theorems? New ones? Old ones? Can you re-prove old ones? ::hands:: This is really neat! Do you have complicated computer programs? Is this for Science? EEEEEE. ::intrigued::

[luzula]

Hee, I love your enthusiasm.

Basically, what I do on an ordinary day is look at a piece of paper where I've written down a problem, hopefully write something new on it, then maybe read something in an article that's about something related. Then I check LJ. Then I tell myself to get some work done. I stare at the piece of paper some more, maybe write something down that turns out not to work, then maybe go down the hall to ask a question from someone who's in my research group. If I solve the problem, I'll write it down in my half-finished article. Then I'll check LJ again.

And hmm, usually I prove old theorems but in new settings. Like, I work in partial differential equations, and usually one wants to know the same kinds of things, but for new operators. If an operator has a particular regularity, what regularity will the solution have? How does the solution behave at the boundary? Etc.

I have no complicated computer programs, just pen and paper (okay, and the program in which we write math articles, but it's just a typesetting program, even if it involves some coding).

And yes, it's for Science!

[luzula]

Oh, and yes--it can be of interest to reprove old theorems if you find a proof that's significantly better than the old proof. For example, it might be shorter, or use more elementary methods.

[inathunderstorm.livejournal.com]

Then I check LJ. Then I tell myself to get some work done.

LOL I do that a lot too. :D!

If an operator has a particular regularity, what regularity will the solution have? How does the solution behave at the boundary? Etc.

...I have no idea what any of that means, but it sounds AWESOME. What's an operator? Regularity and Boundary make me think about black holes. What do those things mean? ::is insanely curious omg:: Is it like...you see if equations will work for different kinds of situations depending on different variables, and how that will effect the outcome? :D? You may need to make this an analogy I have a lot of liberal arts degrees okay

[luzula]

Okay, I started writing a comment in reply, but it grew kind of long, so I made a post about it. *g*

[china_shop]

Yay you! *twirls you*

I find that one of the problems with working on my own is that I end up measuring myself against an Abstract Ideal Worker, compared to whom I inevitably fall short. When I'm around others, I can compare myself to real people, and it's much easier to get a realistic take on my strengths and weaknesses.

[luzula]

Yes, that's true. Interacting with real people = good.

Also, someone once said that the majority of mathematicians think that they are worse than the average at what they're doing. Maybe it's something about taking on huge fuzzy problems and possibly failing at them that can be hard on your self-esteem.