I love my job right now

[luzula]

I just thought I'd say that, because it's not always true. Sometimes, I think I suck as a mathematician. I think that I'm a fraud--sure, I got my PhD and I got a post-doc after that, but really I just sort of surfed along and got help from my advisor, and I didn't do anything on my own, and really, I just sort of suck (also, I read LJ when I should be working). I hate this feeling. /o\

But right now, I feel pretty good about myself and my job, and I know the reason why. It's because I just had a good discussion with the people I'm collaborating with. Good collaboration is the answer, people. I can't shut myself in my room alone with a couple of books and come out after a month with the proof of a theorem. This is kind of the stereotype of a mathematician, but it doesn't work for me.

I need to discuss things with other people. I need feedback. And sometimes I need to remind myself that this is not a flaw.

Comments

[china_shop]

Yay you! *twirls you*

I find that one of the problems with working on my own is that I end up measuring myself against an Abstract Ideal Worker, compared to whom I inevitably fall short. When I'm around others, I can compare myself to real people, and it's much easier to get a realistic take on my strengths and weaknesses.

[luzula]

Yes, that's true. Interacting with real people = good.

Also, someone once said that the majority of mathematicians think that they are worse than the average at what they're doing. Maybe it's something about taking on huge fuzzy problems and possibly failing at them that can be hard on your self-esteem.